


Greenery and Shinies

by kronette



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Christmas, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-24
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2018-03-03 03:45:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2836889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kronette/pseuds/kronette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A holiday from Cat's point of view. Merry Christmas!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Greenery and Shinies

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Janamelie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Janamelie/gifts), [Holo_Bayliss](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holo_Bayliss/gifts), [VeronicaRich](https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeronicaRich/gifts).



Lister was stomping around again, in a foul mood. Cat didn't pay attention to the raised voice as he was intent on the shiny thread he'd found in one of the storage rooms. It glittered when he moved it under the light, and Cat was trying to see how many different colours it could make. It didn't matter that he could only count to four – he just kept turning the thread. "Another one! Hey, another one! Awoooo, look at the shinies!" 

" _Cat!_ Have you seen the mistletoe?" Lister's annoyed bray interrupted his counting. 

Cat gave him a scathing look that would have incinerated a ferocious bear, if one had been on board. "Toes don't whistle, you stupid monkey," he spat, then tuned out Lister as the thread caught the light in an entirely new, sparkly way. "Ooooh, a slightly darker gold than the last one!" 

Engrossed in the thread, Cat wandered the ship until he got hungry about an hour later. Perusing the menu selection for his mid-afternoon snack, his ears perked up at murmured voices from around the corner. Sliding along the wall, Cat peeked around the corner and saw Lister and Rimmer arguing quietly. 

"Oh, come _on_ , Rimmer. It's still mistletoe," Lister whined as he pulled Rimmer closer. 

Before Cat could wrinkle his nose in disgust at how close the two monkeys were standing, Rimmer pulled away.

"It's a picture of mistletoe, ergo, not mistletoe," Rimmer haughtily replied. "Unless you can do better, these lips were made for walking." 

Just when Cat thought Rimmer was going to get away, Lister plucked helplessly at his jacket. "I'm only asking for a kiss, Rimmer. One kiss. The press of my mouth on yours." 

Rimmer had moved in closer, staring down at Lister's mouth, and the air changed scent as Lister pushed that little bit more and brought their mouths together. A strange sensation washed over Cat as he watched the two monkeys get closer, fingers touching faces and arms going around shoulders, all the while their lips moved against each other. His gaze flicked to the piece of paper taped above Lister's head, and the green leaves with white berries pictured on it. 

The air shifted again, getting warmer as Cat finally remembered where he'd seen that mistletoe stuff before. He'd taken it from the monkey's room and put it with his stuff, as was his right for finding it in the first place. Maybe if he put that stuff above his head, Lister would kiss him, too. Maybe even Rimmer. It definitely made the air smell nice. Very, very nice. 

Food temporarily forgotten as a more urgent need presented itself, Cat scrambled back to his hiding places to search for the mistletoe. 

Shouting out a victorious, "Aooooooo!" he danced his way back to Lister and Rimmer's room, where the two of them were bickering, as usual. 

"Hey, hey, hey!" Cat announced himself with a twirl, ending with his hand extended above Lister's head, the green and white sprig dangling from his fingers. "Time for my kiss, Bud!" 

Lister made a strange noise as Cat brought their mouths together, and the air changed rapidly from unpleasant to curious to oh, smeg yes. There were new and strange tastes to go with the new and strange scents, and sounds that made Cat purr deep in his chest as he held tight to Lister, who was clutching at him like he was about to collapse. When the air didn't smell as sweet anymore, Cat let Lister fall back into the chair and turned to Rimmer. 

"What do you think you're doing, miladdo? You can't go around molesting Lister–" 

"Chill, Alphabet-head! There's plenty of me to go around," Cat assured the hologram before spinning him around and dipping him, swinging the mistletoe from his index finger. He wasted no time in covering Rimmer's mouth with his, making sure he stayed shut up. The scents and tastes were completely different, and the air charged with something different; something needier. It wasn't as nice as Lister's kiss, though the crisp, clean scent was much more pleasant. Rimmer clung to him just as tightly as Lister had, though being bent over was making Cat's back ache. Cat stood up and pulled Rimmer with him, turning them around until he could lean Rimmer onto the table and let him go. 

Slightly out of breath, Cat yeowled as Kryten chose that moment to enter their quarters. Without missing a beat, Cat twirled the mistletoe one last time and brought his lips to Kryten's, but everything about that was wrong. No scent, no taste, no nothing. "Sorry, man. Guess you're not a kisser. That's okay though; between those two, I think I can get used to this mistletoe stuff. See you same time tomorrow. Awoooooo!" 

All that kissing had made Cat hungry, and he remembered that he'd missed his mid-afternoon snack when he went in search of the mistletoe. Now his entire schedule was going to be thrown off! He'd have to work out when to work these kissing breaks into his naps, snoozes, snacks, dinners and lunches. 

Who knew that Cloister wasn't all that stupid after all?


End file.
